There was a time when you could ask a hundred questions in one day without worrying about whether anyone thought you were being annoying.
Why is the sky blue?
Why do I have to go to school?
How does this work?
Why can’t I do it this way?
What happens if we try something different?
As children, we were naturally curious. We questioned everything. We wanted to understand, explore, experiment and discover. Somewhere along the journey into adulthood, many of us learned to stop asking questions.
We were told to be quiet,stop disturbing people, accept things as they were or to stop asking too many questions. Perhaps you have even been made to feel that asking questions makes you look unintelligent or inexperienced. What if you reconsider that your curiosity may be one of the most powerful leadership assets you possess.
There is a popular saying, “Curiosity killed the cat.” While it may have been intended as a warning against unnecessary investigation, I have discovered that in leadership, research, relationships, coaching and personal development, curiosity can be the very thing that keeps you growing, relevant and open to possibility. The woman who is willing to ask better questions is often the woman who discovers better possibilities.
One of the deepest struggles many young women face today is the pressure to have their lives figured out before they have had the opportunity to truly discover themselves and develop a vision for their lives.
You scroll through social media and see women launching businesses, getting married, traveling, buying homes, receiving promotions and seemingly living extraordinary lives.
And suddenly you begin to wonder:
What am I doing with my life?
What am I building?
Where am I going?
Why don’t I have a clear vision yet?
Am I behind?
What if I never become the woman I am supposed to be? This pressure can make you stop exploring and start comparing. Purpose is not always revealed all at once, sometimes it develops progressively. You learn, experiment, reflect, fail and adjust. You serve as you grow and all these my dear friend require curiosity.
Importunity: The Courage to Keep Asking
Importunity is a word and attitude i find truly remarkable. It describes persistent, determined asking and the refusal to give up simply because you have not received an answer yet.
Children understand this instinctively.
They ask the same question five different ways. They keep asking why. They want to know how. They want to understand what if.
As adults, we lose that ability because we become afraid of looking foolish.
What if your next breakthrough is hiding behind a question you are afraid to ask?
What if the solution to a problem you have been carrying is waiting for you to become curious enough to examine it differently?
What if the vision you have been praying and thinking about requires you to ask questions you have never considered before?
In my work across research, leadership coaching and teaching, I have seen the power of questions repeatedly. In research, we sit with problems, observe patterns, discuss possibilities and develop research questions that help us discover what we do not yet know.
In coaching, questions create space for reflection. Sometimes the most transformative thing I can offer a client is not an immediate answer but a powerful question that allows her to see herself, her choices and her possibilities differently.
Reflection cultivates solutions. Curiosity creates possibilities. Importunity keeps you searching until you find a better way.
And this is where leadership begins.
John Maxwell said, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”
Before you can confidently show the way, you must be willing to learn the way, remain teachable, curious and be willing to say, I don’t know yet, I am willing to find out.
Two Ways to Reignite Your Curiosity
1. Ask Better Questions About Yourself
Instead of simply asking, “What should I be doing with my life?” begin with smaller, more revealing questions.
What energises me?
What problems do I naturally care about?
What experiences have shaped me?
What am I good at?
What do people consistently come to me for?
What kind of woman do I want to become?
What do I want my life to represent?
What would I attempt if I were not afraid of failing?
What kind of future can I see myself building?
Your questions can become a mirror. They help you understand your identity, values, strengths, desires and direction.
Do not rush the answers.
Give yourself permission to explore.
2. Create a Rhythm of Reflection
Your mind needs space to process your experiences. Set aside time each week to reflect: journal, pray, take a walk and sit quietly. Review your decisions, ask yourself what worked, what did not, what you learned and what needs to change.
Reflection is not wasted time, it is where experience becomes wisdom, scattered information becomes insight and questions begin to connect knowledge, principles and possibilities into solutions. Reflection also helps you refine your vision, sometimes you do not need more information. You need space to process the information you already have.
The life you build today shapes your legacy tomorrow and the legacy you build is determined by the problems you solve, the people you serve, the ideas you develop and the value you create. Your curiosity is not a distraction from your vision, it is one of the pathways to discovering and refining it.
Ask one question, then ask another.
Read.
Explore.
Experiment.
Reflect.
Try again.
Stay teachable.
Stay curious.
The woman you are becoming today is building the foundation for the legacy you will leave tomorrow perhaps your next great idea, leadership opportunity, business solution, research breakthrough or life-changing decision is waiting on the other side of one simple question: “What if there is another way?”
You do not have to figure out alone. Join The Emerging Female Leaders Intensive (EFI) and connect with women who are committed to becoming confident, courageous and visionary leaders.
For support and accountability, register for the next cohort of The Personal Evolution Program, our exclusive group coaching experience designed to help you understand yourself, clarify your vision and intentionally become the woman you are called to be.
Or, if you need personalised support for your unique season, book a one-to-one coaching session.
I am rooting for you