A few weeks ago, I was down, not dramatically or health issues just quietly discouraged, the kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix. I had been pouring out for others, and I started wondering whether anyone noticed or appreciated.
One afternoon, my phone rang, It was the founder of Umi, who said they had a gift for me and wanted to deliver it personally. I was surprised and tried to talk them out of it, but they insisted. They arrived with warm encouraging words, thoughtful gifts, and the kind of fellowship that makes you exhale.
Afterwards, I kept asking myself why did it happen exactly when it did. It could have been any week but it came in the very season I needed it. I saw it as a reminder of God’s love, and of how intentional He is with me. My fire was lit again, not by the gifts alone but by the reminder that my work matters, even when I can’t see who it touches. I am sharing this because I know you may in that season right now.
As women, many of us carry heavy loads, we build careers, support families, lead at work, serve in church or community, and often do it without applause. Some days you give your best and hear nothing back, you start to wonder if you’re invisible, if your effort is wasted, if you should quit or shrink.
If you’ve felt this, you’re not weak. You’re human and hear this: whatever you find to do, do it well, and keep at it, because you are an inspiration and encouragement to others that you may not know about. Someone is watching how you carry yourself, and someone is courageous because you were. You may never get the message, but the impact is real.
Dr. Myles Munroe said, “The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.”
Your discouragement is not evidence that you lack purpose. Often it is evidence that you’re carrying one. Think of a candle lighting other candles, the first candle loses nothing by sharing its flame but if it blows itself out because no one has thanked it, a dozen other candles stay dark. A gardener who waters everyone’s plants but never drinks water will eventually collapse. The Bible says it beautifully: “Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25). You are meant to water others, and you are meant to be watered too.
3 Strategies to Stay Strong While You Serve
1. Anchor your worth in purpose, not applause.
Applause is wonderful, but it’s unreliable. Write down, in one sentence, why you do what you do. When recognition is quiet, that sentence holds you steady. Your purpose existed before anyone clapped, and it will outlast the silence.
2. Keep a “Fire File.”
Create a note on your phone or a folder in your drawer, one of my coaches calls hers “brag folder”. Save the kind messages, the thank-yous, and the moments when your work made a difference. On discouraging days, open it, it’s proof that your labour is not in vain, and you’ll see you were making an impact all along.
3. Stay planted, and let yourself be watered.
Don’t isolate when you’re tired, build a circle of women who pour into you, mentors, sisters, and friends who speak life. Ask for support without apology. Receiving is not weakness, it’s how you stay full enough to keep giving. When someone shows up for you, as the Umi founder did for me, receive it with gratitude.
You must stand at your post to serve others, because the garden you tend needs you. As you water others, you will be watered and nourished. The season of discouragement is real, but it is not the end of your story.
The life you build today shapes your legacy tomorrow. So keep showing up, keep doing it well, and keep your fire lit.
Here are three ways to step into clarity, confidence, and leadership:
Join The Emerging Female Leaders Intensive, a community for young women ready to grow, connect, and lead.
Register for the next cohort of our Personal Evolution Program for exclusive group coaching that moves you from confusion to clarity.
Book a one-to-one coaching session for personal, focused guidance on your unique path.
Reach out today and take your next step. Your purpose is waiting, and so are we.
Life, Leadership and Legacy
Sefe Osinoiki
Identity & Leadership Coach