Some seasons in life feel like standing at the back of a crowded room. You are still figuring out who you are, what you’re good at, and where you belong. Meanwhile, the loudest voices seem to be shaping everything, from trends to the standard of what a “successful woman” looks like. If you have ever thought, “Who am I to shape anything? I’m still finding myself,” this is for you.
As a coach, I often see many brilliant young African women quietly believe that changing and shaping culture belong to celebrities, politicians, and influencers. So they think they have to wait until they’re older, more qualified, more visible. Years pass, and the waiting itself erodes their confidence. Not all of us will be involved in showmanship, but every one of us has a role to play in shaping culture. Culture is simply what a community repeatedly does, tolerates, and celebrates. You are already shaping it in your family, workplace, faith community, friendships, and field. The only question is whether you’re doing it on purpose.
Myles Munroe said it well: “The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.” Purpose begins when you stop waiting to be chosen and start deciding what you will build. It is found in being with what you find yourself doing
Here are three strategies at your disposal for you to make a change and start shaping your society
1. Adopt the Builder’s Mindset
A spectator asks, “Why is nobody fixing this?” A builder asks, “What can I construct here?” Builders come in different types. Which are you?
The Pioneer who starts what does not exist yet or the Architect who designs plans and systems or are you the Bricklayer who does the consistent, unseen work that holds everything up or the Restorer, one repairs what’s broken. None is greater than another, knowing your type ends comparison and shows you where your gifts fit. A clue: where do people naturally come to you for help?
2. Know Your Terrain and Choose Your Mode
Good builders respect boundaries, every industry has its own governance, regulations, systems, and technology. In my field of public health, good intentions without an understanding of policy and data systems rarely last. Learn the rules of your field, who makes decisions, and which tools are shaping its future. Influence follows competence. Then choose your mode of operation: Overt (visible influence, like speaking, publishing, leading, and mentoring in public) or
Covert (quiet influence, like drafting the policy, coaching one person, modelling excellence, and raising a standard without announcement).
Neither is inferior and some of the most lasting change happens quietly. Choose what fits your season, and stay willing to shift.
3. Move Through Alignment, Action, and Ascension
Alignment. Get clear on your values, purpose, and the change you want to see. What do you stand for? What will you not tolerate? Let your actions match your convictions.
Action: Get doing and moving. Clarity comes by doing, without movement it is only a wish. Start small; mentor one girl, propose one improvement at work, write one article, or speak up once in a meeting. Action builds confidence because it gives you evidence.
Ascension: Stay aligned and consistent, and you will rise into greater responsibility, influence, and opportunity. You do not chase ascension; it’s the fruit of faithful work over time. Measure your progress by consistency, not speed.
Anthropologist Margaret Mead is credited with saying, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” You may never take a stage, but you can be part of that small group changing the world.
Confidence is not something you wait to feel before you begin. It is something you build with every brick you lay. You may still be finding yourself, but you can find yourself by building, because the work reveals who you are. Start where you are, with what you have, in the space you already occupy.
Culture is not changed overnight, it is done over time by a collaboration of people and community who know the strategies, position themselves to leverage their strengths and resources to advance their agenda.
You do not have to figure this out alone; choose the support that fits you:
Join The Emerging Female Leaders Intensive and connect with a community of ambitious women learning to lead with clarity and courage.
Register for the next cohort of our Personal Evolution Program for exclusive group coaching, structure, and accountability as you build your life on purpose.
Book a one-to-one coaching session for personalised guidance on your identity, goals, and next steps.
The life you build today shapes your legacy tomorrow.