Do Not Be Silent About What Matters
There is a point in every young woman’s journey when finding herself is no longer enough. I can spend years discovering my identity, understanding my strengths, healing from my past and becoming more confident, but eventually I have to ask a harder question: What am I going to do with who I am becoming?
I believe purpose is not simply about discovering what solutioni bring to the world. Purpose requires responsibility. It also requires me to understand what has been placed in my hands and then develop the courage, competence and strategy to use it for meaningful impact.
Chadwick Boseman captured this beautifully when he said, “Purpose is an essential element of you. It is the reason you are on the planet at this particular time in history.” He shared these words during his 2018 Howard University commencement address, encouraging graduates to seek purpose rather than simply pursuing a job or career.
His statement makes me think deeply about what it means to be a young woman finding herself. I cannot only ask, Who am I? I must also ask, What am I here to contribute? What problems am I equipped to solve? Whose life can become better because I showed up?
Another dimension of purpose that I want us to consider is once you understand your purpose, you must learn how to steward your influence.
I cannot afford to be a woman with vision who refuses to understand the world around her.
I have struggled with this and seen other women feel the frustration of having something meaningful to contribute but feeling invisible, unheard or unsure about how to position themselves for influence. You may have brilliant ideas, values you care deeply about and a desire to make a difference, yet you may assume that visibility, media, public conversations or leadership spaces are “not your thing.”
I understand that instinct because not every woman wants to be loud online. Not every woman wants to become a content creator and not every woman wants her life displayed on social media.
Nevertheless, I want to challenge you: media may not be your thing, but influence must become your thing.
Evil is loud and curated. Righteousness must also be bold, intentional and curated.
I am not suggesting that you compromise your values for visibility or chase attention for attention’s sake. I am saying that if you do not participate in shaping the conversations happening around you, then you should not be surprised when those conversations begin shaping you.
We need women at all levels, including the top, to change the dynamic, reshape the conversation, to make sure women’s voices are heard and heeded.
This the kind of responsibility we should understand and adopt for the kingdom. I do not need to be the loudest woman in the room, but I must be willing to contribute my voice. I do not need to dominate every conversation, but I should not consistently disappear from conversations where my perspective, expertise and values matter.
If you are a student, you have influence. As a researcher, professional, entrepreneur, mother, creative, community leader or young executive, I have influence. My responsibility is to understand my sphere and become intentional about what I contribute to it.
1. Build a clear personal paradigm
You must first change the way you think about visibility and leadership. Visibility is not vanity and influence is not self-promotion, the same way, communication is not noise, they are strategies. When I have something valuable to contribute, making it accessible to people is part of my responsibility.
I need to ask myself, What do I want to be known for? What problems do I want to help solve? What conversations should I be contributing to? Whose thinking can be improved because I showed up?
When I answer these questions, I stop trying to imitate everyone else and begin building an authentic leadership voice.
2. Develop a strategy for influence
Purpose without strategy can remain an unfulfilled idea.
We need to understand the platforms where conversations are happening and learn how to use them wisely. We need to learn communication, storytelling, networking, media engagement and personal positioning. We need to understand how ideas move and how people make decisions. You do not have to become someone you are not. Simply become strategic about making your contribution visible.
If I do not create, support or influence the narratives around me, I will eventually be influenced by someone else’s narrative. This is why I cannot afford indifference. Your silence may not feel like approval, but silence can create space for other voices to define the culture, values and conversations that shape the next generation.
3. Become proficient and consistent
I cannot build influence on passion alone, I also need competence. I need to read widely, develop my skills, understand my industry and stay curious. I need to learn how to communicate my ideas clearly and consistently. I need to build relationships with people who challenge my thinking and create opportunities for collaboration.
Most importantly, Practice.
We do not become confident by waiting until we feel ready. You become confident by repeatedly doing the work, learning from the outcome and improving. The life you build today shapes your legacy tomorrow.
Find yourself, build yourself and position yourself to serve.
Do not hide behind humility when what you actually need is courage. Do not call it privacy when fear is keeping you from contributing. Do not say “media is not my thing” and then surrender the power to shape the conversations that are shaping your world.
You do not need to be everywhere. You need to be intentional where you are.
You need a paradigm that gives you courage, practices that strengthen your capacity and proficiency that makes your contribution valuable.
Your purpose deserves a strategy and your voice deserves a place in the rooms, platforms and conversations where the future is being shaped.
If you are ready to discover yourself more deeply, strengthen your leadership capacity and intentionally build the woman you are becoming, join The Emerging Female Leaders Intensive.
For deeper transformation, accountability and community, register for the next cohort of the Personal Evolution Program.
And if you are navigating a specific transition and need personalized support, book a one-to-one coaching session with me.
PS: Your silence is not neutral when you have the capacity to contribute. Your influence is a responsibility. Your purpose needs a strategy.
The life you build today shapes your legacy tomorrow.