If you have ever tried to change a habit and failed, this may be the missing piece: it is not your discipline that is broken. It is your identity that is unclear.
If you do not change how you see yourself, you will keep returning to the same behaviors no matter how motivated you feel.
As a young African woman navigating career, purpose, leadership, and personal growth, you are constantly required to evolve. You are learning new skills, stepping into new rooms, and building a life that may look very different from where you started.
Yet, many women find themselves stuck not for lack of knowledge or opportunity. But because deep down, they still see themselves through an outdated identity.
You may say:
“I want to be consistent.”
“I want to speak confidently.”
“I want to build something meaningful.”
Your habits will always align with the identity you believe about yourself.
Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become
This is behavioral sciences, think about learning a new skill like sewing, public speaking, or even leading a team.
If you quietly believe:
“I am not good at this.”
“I am not that kind of person.”
You will hesitate, procrastinate and stop when it gets uncomfortable.
If you shift to:
“I am someone who figures things out.”
“I am a leader in training.”
Your actions begin to change consistently.
The execution of everything you do and intend to do stems from who you think you are.
Your identity is the foundation of:
Your current behaviors
Your willingness to learn
Your ability to adapt and grow
If you believe you are someone who gives up easily, you will act accordingly.
If you believe you are someone who finds solutions, you will persist until you do.
This is why two people can have the same opportunity but produce completely different results.
You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.
Whether you are selling a product, building a personal brand, leading a team or creating impact in your community; you will always operate at the level of your self-perception. If you want a better experience in your life and work, you must upgrade your identity first.
3 Steps to Create Immediate Results
You do not need to wait for a perfect moment.
1. Redefine Your Identity at the Next Level
Ask yourself:
Who is the woman I need to become to achieve the life I desire?
Be specific:
“I am a disciplined woman.”
“I am a confident communicator.”
“I am a woman who follows through.”
If your mind cannot see you there, you will struggle to act there. Start identifying with that version of yourself daily.
2. Act Before You Feel Ready
Growth will feel uncomfortable. That is not a sign to stop. It is a sign you are stretching. Take actions that align with your new identity:
Speak up, even if your voice shakes
Show up, even when you feel unsure
Practice, even when you are not perfect
Your feelings will catch up with your actions.
3. Build Evidence Through Small Wins
Do not wait for big results. Focus on small, repeated actions.
Each time you act in alignment with your new identity, you reinforce it.
Send the email.
Practice the skill.
Show up again.
Over time, your brain begins to accept:
“This is who I am now.”
Identity is not changed by affirmation alone. It is shaped by repetition, environment association.Surround yourself with people, content, and communities that reflect your next level. This is why environments like The Propelled Life community matter. They help you normalize growth.
Also, be patient with yourself. Identity transformation is powerful, but it is not instant, it is built daily.
You are not only changing your habits, you are becoming someone new. So the real question is not: what you should do differently.
It is:“Who do you need to become to make this natural?”
Remember when your identity changes, your habits follow and when your habits change, your life inevitably shifts.