There’s a quiet question many young people carry into offices, lecture halls, churches, and community meetings: “Does anyone really need me here?”
You show up, do your tasks but somewhere inside, you feel replaceable, like a background character in someone else’s story. One thing I often see and hear from young women who are still finding themselves is that they are capable, but feel small. Some stay silent because they are still new, others speak up only to point out what’s wrong, and end up labelled negative rather than valuable. Either way, confidence shrinks and belief grows that their presence does not matter.
One thing I want you to take away is: relevance is not given, it is built and built through usefulness.
Myles Munroe warned, “Where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.” When you don’t know your purpose, your time and talents get scattered or misused. Purpose begins to show up when you ask, “What problem can I help solve here?”
“No man is an island.” – John Donne
We thrive in an ecosystem, and the more useful you are within it, the more relevant you become.
Ways to Becoming Relevant
1. Be a Problem-Solver, Not a Fault-Finder
Anyone can point out what is broken or missing. It takes maturity to ask, “How could this work better?”
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The Fault-Finder
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The Problem-Solver
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This process is a mess.
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This process is slow. Here's one fix I'd suggest.
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Points at gaps
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Helps fill them
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Waits to be asked
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Offers, then acts
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Leaves people discouraged
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Leaves people encouraged
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When you ask questions or raise concerns, do it with a solving mindset. Never bring a problem without at least one idea. Leaders trust people who make their work lighter.
2. Contribute Your Time, Effort, and Resources
You do not need a title to contribute. Ask yourself what you can give:
Time: take on the task no one wants, or mentor someone a step behind you.
Effort: do small things well, then go the extra mile.
Resources: share your skills, knowledge, network, or opportunities.
At work, look for ways to reduce challenges and improve processes. Is there a form that wastes time? A step that is constantly repeated? A question customers keep asking? Improving one small thing is a powerful way to be seen for the right reasons.
Try this simple cycle:
Notice → Ask → Suggest → Act → Follow through
3. Support Others and Become Valuable to the Ecosystem
Picture a garden, every plant, insect, and drop of water plays a part, and nothing grows alone. Your community, company, or organization works the same way. When you support colleagues, share credit, and help others succeed, you strengthen the whole system, and it strengthens you.
You support → become useful → become relevant → gain influence
Supporting others does not make you smaller. It makes you valuable.
Confidence is not a feeling you wait for before you begin. It grows every time you solve something, help someone, or improve something. Each contribution is evidence that you matter, and you’ll find yourself by being useful.
You do not have to always figure things out alone. Choose the support that fits you:
Join The Emerging Female Leaders Conclave and grow alongside women who are learning to lead with clarity and courage.
Register for the next cohort of our Personal Evolution Program for exclusive group coaching, structure, and accountability.
Book a one-to-one coaching session for personalised guidance on your identity, goals, and next steps.
The life you build today shapes your legacy tomorrow.