If you have struggled with making a change or improving your life for a month, a year, or even several years, this message is for you. Many young women carry bold, beautiful desires to rise in leadership, increase income, speak with confidence, build meaningful relationships, launch businesses, or secure scholarships and grants.
Sometimes when we peel back the layers, we often discover a painful truth: our expectations quietly sabotage our desires.
You may desire growth, but expect things to stay the same.
You may desire success, but expect failure.
You may desire new opportunities, but expect rejection.
This mismatch is especially common among women who have survived past shame, disappointment, setbacks, or seasons where life felt unfair or overwhelming.
Shame tells you, “You’re not enough.”
Fear whispers, “Don’t try, you’ll fail again.”
Being stuck convinces you, “This is just how life is for women like you.”
Nevertheless, one reality you must embrace with boldness and feminine power is that You are the 95% determining factor of your results. Everything else (circumstances, environments, systems) is only contributory.
Leadership expert John Maxwell puts it perfectly:
“Your life today is a result of your thinking yesterday; your life tomorrow will be determined by what you think today.”
Your mind is not just a participant in your journey, it is the architect.
Why Your Mind Fears New Levels
Think of a simple example, if you can confidently cook jollof rice for 100 people, making it for 70 feels easy, you expect excellence because you’ve done it before. But if someone asks you to cook for 300, fear kicks in. Suddenly, you half-expect the food to burn, fall short, or taste different; not because you lack skill, but because your mind has not yet stretched to expect success at that scale.
This is exactly what happens in your personal and professional life.
New territory triggers old fears.
Bigger dreams awaken buried insecurities.
Unfamiliar opportunities stir anxious expectations of failure.
Hear me clearly: what you do not intentionally expect and prepare to win, you will unconsciously expect to lose.
This is why so many smart, capable, ambitious women feel stuck.
Not because you lack value
Not because you dreams are impossible
because your expectations have not yet caught up with their desires.
It’s time to change this!
4 Steps to Align Your Expectations With Your Desired Outcomes
Below are four transformational steps to help you shift from fear, shame, and stagnation into clarity, confidence, and courageous action.
1. Acknowledge Your Story Without Allowing It to Define You
Many women silently carry experiences that shaped their self-worth: past mistakes, financial struggles, failed opportunities, betrayals, or seasons of survival. These experiences often birth low expectations.
Your past is a chapter, not your whole story.
Take time to reflect:
• What fear or shame still influences your beliefs about what is possible?
• What old narrative keeps whispering limitations into your future?
You cannot transform what you refuse to acknowledge. This is your moment to say: “My story is valid, but it will no longer lead my life.”
2. Redefine What You Expect From Yourself and Your Life
Your expectations must be trained just like a muscle.
Start by identifying where your expectations contradict your desires:
• You desire more sales but expect low demand.
• You desire a promotion but expect to be overlooked.
• You desire funding but expect rejection.
• You desire confidence but expect your voice to tremble.
Rewrite these expectations intentionally. You are allowed to expect success.
You are allowed to expect growth.
You are allowed to expect good opportunities.
You are allowed to expect abundance.
Transformational women don’t only dream. They expect their desires to manifest with their effort.
3. Speak Powerfully, Boldly, and Consistently
Your voice is one of your greatest tools for identity and leadership. The words you speak shape your emotions, your decisions, and your results.
Begin to speak:
• As a woman who wins
• As a woman who leads
• As a woman who expects breakthroughs
• As a woman who is worthy of every desire she carries
Your language must match the woman you are becoming not who you used to be.
4. Take Physical Steps Toward Your Desired Outcome
Expectation without action is fantasy.
Desire without discipline is wishful thinking.
Every meaningful transformation requires movement.
If you expect to get promoted, show up differently.
If you expect more clients, reach out intentionally.
If you expect clarity, invest in learning and mentorship.
If you expect a scholarship, submit the application with confidence.
The moment your steps align with your expectations, momentum begins.
Decide today to set your mind, words, and actions in agreement with the future you desire.
Decide to expect abundance.
Decide to expect progress.
Decide to expect good things.
Decide to expect to win.
When your expectations rise to match your desires, your entire life begins to shift.
If you’re ready to break free from fear, rewrite your story, elevate your expectations, and step into your next level with confidence, this is your moment.
Send a message, book a session, or start your coaching journey today.
Your transformation begins the moment you choose to expect more.