Hello Amazing Amazon,
Have you ever felt a little lost when making big decisions? Or found yourself questioning if a certain opportunity, friendship, or career move truly fits who you are becoming? That feeling often points to a gap not an inability, but of clarity which comes from knowing your core values.
I often say to the women in my community:
“If you don’t define your values, the world will define them for you and you will keep feeling lost, pressured, or confused about your next step.”
What Are Core Values?
Core values are the fundamental beliefs that hold your decisions, guide your actions, and shape how you show up in the world. They help you navigate life’s big questions and tiny crossroads with clarity and confidence. Think of core values as the “home” you return to when everything else feels uncertain. They are your essence made visible.
One of the young women I coached, let’s call her Ada realized that “growth,” “service,” and “courage” were her true core values. When a high-paying job offer came that looked glamorous but limited her opportunities for growth and meaningful service, she boldly declined. Was it scary? Yes. Was it freeing? Even more. Today, Ada leads a thriving social enterprise that empowers other young women staying true to her values.
Why Are Core Values Essential As Emerging Female Leaders?
- They clarify your identity: Knowing your values helps you know yourself. Self-awareness is the first, non-negotiable step to powerful leadership.
- They strengthen your decisions: Whether it’s choosing a career path, ending a toxic friendship, or negotiating your salary values help you say “yes” to the right things and “no” to the wrong ones.
- They build inner confidence: When you live by your values, your self-respect deepens. You trust yourself more, and others are drawn to your authenticity.
- They propel your impact: Leadership is not just about doing more it’s about doing what matters most. Values align your actions with your purpose.
“When your actions align with your core values, you lead with a power that cannot be faked and a peace that cannot be stolen.”
How Do You Define Your Core Values?
Here’s a simple but powerful 7-step guide you can use:
Step 1: Reflect on Peak Moments
Think back to the best moments of your life so far, the ones that made you feel proud, fulfilled, or deeply connected to others.
Ask yourself:
- What was happening?
- What values were being honored?
If you loved leading your siblings, a team project that helped a cause or community, maybe service and charity are part of your values.
Step 2: Identify your triggers
Reflect on moments that frustrated, disappointed, or angered you. Pain often points directly to a value being violated. Maybe you were deeply hurt when someone betrayed your trust signaling that integrity is essential to you.
Step 3: Identify Your Non-Negotiables
Without overthinking, write down every word that feels important to you:
Freedom. Growth. Courage. Kindness. Excellence. Faith. Community. Innovation.
What are the principles you will never compromise, no matter the reward or pressure? Ask yourself: “If everything else was stripped away, what principles would I still fiercely protect?” Aim for at least 15-20 words. Don’t worry you will refine it later.
Step 4: Group Similar Values Together
Some values are cousins. Honesty and Integrity live in the same family.
Creativity and Innovation might, too. Group your list into 4–6 clusters and find a word that captures the essence of each group.
Step 5: Prioritize Ruthlessly
Pick your Top 5 Core Values.
Ask yourself:
- Which values would I fight for?
- Which ones, if compromised, would make me feel like I am betraying myself?
Your leadership identity is sharpened by clarity, not by trying to be everything to everyone.
Step 6: Define What Each Value Means to You
Words are powerful, but they need YOUR definition. What does Courage mean to you? It could be speaking up even when your voice shakes or to you, Impact may mean mentoring one girl every year.
Write a short sentence for each of your values; make them personal. Personalizing them makes them real and actionable.
Step 7: Live Them Out Loud
It’s not enough to know your values you must live them.
Before every big decision, ask yourself:
“Does this align with my core values?”
When you lead with your values, you don’t just chase success; you create significance.
“Your core values will not always lead you to the easiest road, but they will always lead you to the road that feels like home.”
Defining your core values isn’t a once-and-done exercise. As you evolve, you might revisit and refine them. That’s okay. Identity discovery and rediscovery is a beautiful lifelong journey.
If you take the time to know what truly matters to you, you’ll lead yourself and others with more clarity, courage, and compassion.
You will live lighter, love deeper, and lead better. Your future self will thank you for that.
I’d love to hear what you discover! 💖Feel free to share in the comments or DM me.
Rooting for you always,
Sefe Osinoiki
Identity Discovery Coach