People may forget your qualifications, but they rarely forget how you made them feel. In workplaces, labs, conferences, and collaborations, your attitude is a personal asset and your ability to be present is one of the fastest ways to build trust, influence, and opportunity. Many talented people lose doors not because they lack skill, but because they show up drained, distracted, defensive, or detached. I’m saying it because I coach women who are brilliant, hardworking, and capable yet they are underestimated because their energy communicates something unintended.
Your attitude is a determining factor in how people experience you and whether you enjoy or suffer through your work. It shapes the quality of your relationships, the strength of your network, and how you respond under pressure. It is also one of the most underrated leadership skills, because leadership is not only about output; it is about impact.
Choosing the right attitude can be daunting, especially when you work with grumpy, selfish, unkind, or emotionally immature people. In many African work environments, you are not only doing the job; you also have to navigate hierarchy, ego, poor communication, and sometimes plain disrespect. Many times, the stakes can feel even higher; you might be dealing with unavailable supervisors, colleagues who compete rather than collaborate, institutional delays, and constant pressure to prove you belong in the room.
A great attitude does not always come naturally, sometimes it is discipline, sometimes it is emotional intelligence and other times it is the brave decision not to become bitter, even when you have valid reasons to be frustrated. A great attitude is choosing to remain grounded, professional, and solution-focused even when everything is not fine because anger and offence may feel justified, but it is counterproductive.
If we are being honest, women are often judged more harshly for their emotional expression in professional spaces. A man can be “assertive” and a woman becomes “difficult.” A man can be quiet and he is “focused,” but a woman is “unfriendly.” This double standard is unfair, except you are guilty and since we cannot always control the system, we must learn how to control our strategy.
A poor attitude does not only affect your mood it affects how people interpret your competence; it affects how willing others are to support you. It also affects whether you are invited into collaborations, projects, panels, and opportunities that require trust. Your attitude is part of your brand and the earlier you learn to intentionally manage it, the faster influence grows.
This is where many young professionals are quietly losing the magic of life. We are living in an era where you can sit next to someone and still be somewhere else. In social situations, many people would rather scroll and chat on their phones than speak to the person in front of them or sitting beside them. We attend events physically with our minds in our notifications. We sit in meetings and we are mentally multitasking. We go on dates and we are emotionally absent. We build networks, and do not build connections.
Presence has become rare which means presence has also become powerful and priceless.
When you are present, you communicate respect, you notice details, you listen beyond words and you create experiences people will always remember. Experiences are what build relationships.
Last month, I was on a 90-minute flight. After reading my book for a while, I decided to speak to the passenger beside me. I still don’t know his name, but we had one of the most refreshing conversations I’ve had in a long time. We talked about living in Lagos and Jos and the contrasts of both cities. We laughed about the legendary moments during the last AFCON games. We even discussed current agribusiness opportunities and how the market is shifting. What stood out to me was this: we both had an amazing time on that flight. We forgot the chaos and long waiting time before boarding. The atmosphere changed simply because two strangers chose to be present, curious, and human.
You Choose the Energy You Bring
I recently learned from a book – FISH! (and its companion stories often referred to as “FISH Tales”). The core lesson is simple: you can choose the attitude you bring into any environment. You may not control your workplace culture, but you can control your contribution. You may not control the mood of your colleagues, but you can control your response. You may not control the system, but you can control your spirit.
The FISH philosophy teaches that energy is contagious. Your attitude can either lift a room or drain it; emotional energy is not a small matter because it is part of performance. You are already navigating enough; you do not need your own attitude to become another obstacle. Being present takes deliberate effort and energy. It takes emotional discipline, requires you to resist multiple layers of distraction (internal and external). You have to fight your phone, your anxiety, your to-do list, your unresolved stress, and the habit of mentally escaping when things feel uncomfortable. The more you practice choosing presence, the easier it becomes. As you strengthen presence, you strengthen your ability to lead, because leadership requires attention, active listening, emotional intelligence and discernment. You cannot discern what you refuse to notice.
Practical Ways to Build Attitude and Presence
- Start with one simple decision: choose your attitude before you enter the room. Do not wait for the environment to decide your mood for you. Decide what version of yourself you are bringing into that meeting, lab, classroom, or conference.
- Practice micro-presence: Put your phone away for ten minutes; make eye contact; ask one thoughtful question. Listen fully without preparing your response while the other person is talking.
Small choices compound and over time, people will experience you as stable, warm, and trustworthy.
As you grow in your career and leadership journey; your attitude is a determining factor in how people experience you and whether you enjoy or suffer through your work and your presence is a rare gift in a distracted world.
You do not have to be the loudest in the room to be influential or the most senior to be respected. You must be intentional about how you show up because talent opens the door but attitude and presence decide what happens after you walk in.
If you’re ready to be more intentional about how you show up — in your work, your research, and in leadership — explore Elevare here
And if you’re looking for deeper support in strengthening your mindset, leadership presence, and emotional intelligence; learn more about working with us through the Personal Evolution Program (PEP)