Many young women are working hard and working under multiple pressures (physical, mental, societal and peer) add that to the ones we put on ourselves; pressure to prove yourself; be “the responsible one.”, pressure to be perfect and not mess up. pressure to represent women well, to be excellent and agreeable.
Without realizing it many career women build a lifestyle where rest is tolerated and fun is forbidden. Imagine a routine where you will sleep, but won’t dance. We take breaks but do not laugh and when you manage to stop working, you won’t dare play.
Somewhere along the line, you absorbed the belief that if you are enjoying yourself, you are either unserious or wasting time. This is one fallacy of adulting we need to ditch; lack of play is not as sign of maturity; it destroys your ability to relax, starves creativity and disrupts productivity
Many young women are trying to build a strong career while also carrying emotional exhaustion, family pressure, financial stress, high expectations, and unhealed wounds. This combination creates quiet crisis chaos that have been normalized from the outside but feels terrible on the inside. You are physically present, mentally drained, feel tired and overthink everything. Chances are likely that you begin to second-guess your competence, procrastinate when the brain feels overloaded, become reactive in meetings, in relationships, and in decision-making.
Last year, I visited the Brighton aquarium with a colleague from Kenya, she had planned to go with others who eventually bailed out for different reasons and I was to return home that night. Typically, I would stay in my hotel room, read, write and sleep before going to the airport, I decided to relax and we had loads of fun, then I realized that I really needed the experience. When you lose play, you lose access to your authentic self. Play is where you remember who you are outside performance. It is where you reconnect with what you enjoy, what makes you feel alive, what energizes you naturally, and what you like when no one is watching. Insights and creativity do not flow under pressure.
There is also a practical reason play works, and it has nothing to do with vibes. Your brain has different operating modes. There is a focused mode where you concentrate, analyze, solve, and meet deadlines, and there is a more relaxed mode where creativity, insight, and problem-solving happen in the background. Most young professionals live permanently in focused mode, because life demands it and because ambition rewards it. But the relaxed mode is where your brain connects dots, processes emotions, and produces original ideas. This is why your best thoughts often come in the shower, while walking, while cooking, while laughing with friends, or in a random moment of joy. Play unlocks the part of your mind that hustle cannot access.
To improve productivity, you need to stop asking how to work harder and start asking how to recover quickly and smarter. John Maxwell captures it beautifully; “You cannot give what you do not have.” If you do not have joy, you cannot lead with joy. If you do not have emotional stability, you cannot lead with wisdom. If you do not have rest, you cannot build sustainable success.
Benefits of Play and fun
Many people are lonely not because they do not know people, but because they do not feel safe enough to be fully themselves. Play builds connection. It gives you shared experiences beyond work stress and “adulting complaints.”
Strong relationships are essential for leadership.
How to Add Play Into Your Week (Without Becoming Irresponsible)
- a dance class
- a movie night
- a long walk with music
- an hour to paint, bake, or journal
- brunch with your girls
- a solo café date
Fun is not what you do when time appears; it is what you prioritize because you are wise.
- sit outside in the evening
- laugh at a silly show
- take pictures of the sky
- play a game with siblings
- try a new recipe
- listen to music and clean
Do not treat joy like an occasional visitor (I am guilty of this). Treat it like a lifestyle.
Say it out loud: “I am a woman who works hard and lives fully.”
The most dangerous version of ambition is the one that slowly kills your joy and when joy dies, purpose becomes heavy. If purpose becomes heavy, you start resenting the very life you prayed for.
Play is a productivity hack and more importantly, play is a self-awareness practice.
It helps you stay connected to who you are, not just what you produce.
It is the difference between success that looks good and success that feels good.